Mirage

Sometimes I just wonder why we give love to someone who doesn’t even care about us। We try to give maximum of what we have and in turn what we get is the disappointment। I guess this is the unwritten law of the life… It shows how much we care for the people who are least bothered about us। It is not necessarily true that you don’t get anything from that person. That person also gives you some percentage of love and affection, but not to the fullest. They give you something or the other, but not the things you want. The never react in the way you want them to react. They never understand your emotions. They are concerned about their feelings. You try to make them more and more happy, but when you are sad, they never understand that. Why do we fall for such friends? Whenever they are down, you go out of the way to help them, and when you are sad, disappointed, down or upset, they seem to be normal. They enquire about your mood, but they never do or try to do something to make you feel good…There is nothing wrong in it, it’s just that they consider you as just a good friend, not more than that… But you consider them as your best pals, rather something more than that. You give everything you have, more than you have, but everything seem to be nothing, it just vanishes in thin air. It is like, you want them to be your best friends, but they just can’t. You can’t make someone love you, can you??? But meanwhile you go away from your best pals, someone who is already giving loads of love. You ignore them, sometimes fail to spend time with them and this affects your relation with them. This causes more and more pain. You lose what you have, and you run after the Mirage of some dreamy relation you want to have. You blindfold yourself for the love given by others. You just ignore others and this is not good for you. I know relations are like gambles. You never know when you will find a gem in your friends and some gems turn out to be worthless stones. This is the fact about the life. It’s really hard to find someone who will love you the way you love him/her… This is very subjective. One might feel he/she is giving more than expected, but the other person in the same relationship might feel that she/he has not got anything from their respective partners. We can’t have a mathematical formula for this. I guess it is better to keep giving others what you have. You should not close your eyes for others. Keep your eyes and mind open for the love you are receiving from the others. The best thing is let go all the expectations. This is the toughest thing in any relationship. You should think, who am I for this person? I mean, if he/she does not understand my normal mood swings, then why am I expecting these many things from him/her? Why the hell am I trying to gauge his/her moods, behavior? How does it make a difference? We go crazy and hurt others also. I don’t like this; still I do the same thing again and again. It is very hard to balance this act. I don’t know what I am writing. This might be all rubbish. I am just typing things that are coming in my mind. It is all chaos. I have done so many mistakes in my past life. I have given so much love to many people, friends who don’t even deserve to be loved…We waste our life following the mirage of relations. We keep on expecting that this person will start understanding me, he/she will give me whatever I am expecting. It is not like Hindi movies, “Happies Endings”… film baki rheti hai, par humare lie nahi... Coincidences never take place in our life.

In a nutshell I can say that we always bet our money on wrong horse, at least in case of relations…

Rain...

Today’s article is dedicated to one of my most favorite things in this world… that’s RAIN!!!! I love rain more than anything. I don’t know the exact reason but rain makes me go crazy. Every rainy season brings some special moments for me… I am not saying that that special thing is about a person or a happy moment; many times rain brings pain along with it; but still I love Rain. How can I forget the fist rain???? Each and every year I wait for the first rain drop… for the past few years; I had tried my best to get wet in the first rain of the season (then that rain can be in the night also, 2 years ago I got wet in the Midnight rain… quite strange… I know) Nothing like that!

Rain stimulates each and every sense of human being. Surprised?
‘Smell’, the smell of wet soil, (there is very beautiful word in Marathi for wet soil:’Mrudgandh’, Mrud means Soil and Gandh is the fragrance.).
‘Hear’, sound of drops rushing towards thirsty soil, thunder, clouds welcoming king of all seasons i.e. rain.
’See’, the lightening just like someone is tearing the clouds apart and making way for the Rain, 7 colored spectrum of welcome path for rain i.e. Rainbow. ‘Touch’, touch of first rain drop, instead of the drop of sweat, a cool wet drop of rain rolls down the body soaking all the tiredness, giving kind of relaxation.
‘Taste’ this is the sense that is really hard to relate with the rain. But instead of considering this as physical taste; I will relate it with the taste experienced by our mind. Rain opens up the mind and we taste the beauty of nature, that roaring rain shows the strength, greatness of nature and makes us realize our helplessness in front of nature. Of course how can I forget the relation of ‘Kanda Bhajee’ (Onion Bhajee) and hot tea… both of these things taste really different when we eat them in the rain…

During my engineering once I had really tough day. I screwed my practical and goofed up in the viva. I was totally exhausted and down. I was thinking about many things, mostly crap. My mood was worst than ever. I was sitting in the canteen and suddenly black clouds appeared in the sky, thunders, lightening and rain followed them. There was a curtain of rain outside. It was raining cats and dogs. I couldn’t see anything outside. And I don’t know what happened to me, I got out in the rain, everybody around me was trying to get in the shed and I was walking in the rain… I will never forget that scene. That rain made me so relaxed that I was totally calm, quite. I took a round around the college. Everyone was staring at me. I know they must be thinking who’s this crazy guy?? But I never cared about those stares. When I came back to canteen, totally drenched, my mind was free from everything. I was just admiring the beauty of that heavy rain. Rain made me feel really nice. It cooled me. I can’t explain my emotions at that time but rain really helped me a lot. Rain makes me mad.

There are thousands of things I can tell about the rain. Most of the times; rain also brings pain for me. I have many sad memories also.

“I love to walk in the rain,
Because it opens my heart and frees my pain;
Den I don’t have any fear,
Because no one can differentiate my single tear;
Sky cries with me to share my pain,
And that’s why I love to walk in the rain…”

These are some of the lines I have written which describes one of the reasons why I love rain. Whenever there is rain, a movie rolls in front of my eyes. I remember many moments, millions of incidents, emotions, crazy things, hurt feelings… This movie is just like Arabian Nights stories. One story starts from the other, one thing initiates second thing; like chain reaction. I won’t be able to put those emotions on paper as those feelings are very subtle and hard to put in words. But rain gives me joy as well as pain. I tried that in my poems… I am writing this just to share my thoughts. Some one may hate rain, however I am not here to prove anything or justify rain. One may say that rain is taking lives. But this blog is dedicated to my rain, ya I mean it, I consider rain as one of my best friends…

So if you see a guy getting wet in the rain and enjoying that moment, don’t get surprised…

Expectations????

People say that never expect anything from others; but still we expect many things from our loved ones and friend. Is it bad to expect then? I think this is the most difficult thing in any relationship. One should be aware of the rising expectations of the other person in the relationship. As far as I know, whenever we get involved in someone; instead of reducing the expectations we keep on increasing them. This makes the other person really uncomfortable in that relation.

But in the beginning of any relation; if both of them are fulfilling each others’ expectations; then that should be continued throughout their life. Later no one in that relation should deny those expectations. It’s just like making someone used to a thing and then denying the very same fact (just like an Addiction.)

I think, expectations are root cause of many misunderstanding. ‘I expected your call; and you didn’t even bother to call me or sms me?’… This simple statement says thousand words of anger and distrust. And I am damn sure; most of the misunderstandings remain unaffected as we never talk openly about the expectations. If from the beginning only we adopt not to expect anything then there is less pain. Never expect anything from anyone. You don’t know who will hurt you. You keep on fulfilling the other person’s expectations and the other person never bothers to do anything for you. This hurts more than anything and breaks the heart.

But the question remains the same… why do we expect at the first place? If you follow the golden rule of not expecting anything from others you will be quite happy in your life. But emotional people fail to do this. Their every relation suffers from the same phenomenon…

Love????

Sometimes I wonder why we fall in love. We never think about the future of the relation, I mean we never think whether this relation will continue till the end of our lives. Promises, commitments and all those talks about the future just vanish in thin air when there is some misunderstanding, saturation or some sort of complication. These things should actually strengthen the relationship; however if we take our own decisions without even talking with the other person who is on the other side of relation, then it’s a big mess. These kinds of decisions break heart of the other person. “Is this the same guy/gal who used to love me so much and now he/she doesn’t even bother about me….” This feeling of rejection is so hard to digest. This pain is really heart breaking. No one should be in such position that he/she doesn’t even know what went wrong and why on the earth this guy/gal hates me so much, why there is so much swing in their emotional approach towards us.

I think, more we think about the problem, more complicated it becomes. We simply can’t find the answer. The other person is having all the fun and we keep on thinking what went wrong. Was that my mistake? Practical people easily forget about this, but what about emotional and sentimental people? Isn’t it like accident for them, from which they can’t even recover easily…. But still the question remains why do people do such things? I really don’t know the answer. “God knows” is the simplest of the answers.

Now the burning topic today is the “Physical” nature of any relation. I agree. One shouldn’t cross one’s limits while in any intense, close relationship. But when you get physically close to anyone (while hugging and kissing), that touch of warmth, love takes you more and more close to the other person, don’t you think so? How many of you can forget your first hug and kiss? When you are serious in any relationship, its bound to have some physical closeness, at least in today’s age. But when such serious relationships break, those touches remain there like scars. We can suppress them but it’s not easy to forget those intense moments, not for emotional people. It’s really hard to get in any other relationship when you were in a relation where you had your promises and commitments and never thought about the unexpected break off.

There should be valid reason to break up. You should be able to explain what are the reasons or on what basis you took this strange and heart breaking decision. When you just stop talking or refuse to give any explanation its like a big question mark of life. For the whole life the other person keeps thinking about this question, which can only be answered by the other person. Why can’t people think about the other half of their relationship? When you commit something then you should be brave enough to tell the reasons of breaking off. It’s true that there are flaws in every person, so is it logical to ignore that person instead of answering his/her questions? I’m not saying that you should be in any relationship when that’s giving you pain, but at least you can talk and then take the decision. There may be possibility that that’s just an intermediate stage. I don’t know. But I think sometimes we take decisions without thinking about the consequences of that decision and just remain in our dream world that whatever decision I’ve taken is the right decision. We must TALK…